Mid-life upgrade

Mid-life upgrade

The last nine months have been tranformational for me personally.

After a pretty crap 2018 with my mental health, physical health and family traumas I knew I wanted 2019 to be different. I wanted my next decade in sobriety to be even bigger and better.

That decision was taken back in September 2018. I knew for me to have a radically different year would take a radical step forward and a new mindset.

I needed help. I found help. I invested in a coach. 

For the last nine months I’ve been fully focused on me. Selfish? Maybe ….. but I needed to be to create big change. I wasn’t willing to ‘just get by’, ‘survive’ or ‘get through the days’ anymore.

★ I’ve said no to lots of people even when I knew they wouldn’t like it.

★ I stopped doing ‘stuff’ for the sake of it and because ‘they’ are.

★ I’ve turned down work because it no longer fits with who I am or what I do.

★ I’ve learnt to trust myself and learnt what self compassion and self love means to me.

★ I’ve learnt what I need when I need it.

★ I’ve called bull 💩 on my limiting beliefs and stories.

★ I’ve glimpsed my potential and I am excited about what that will bring.

At the eve of a new year I didn’t set any resolutions because I already started them a few months back 😜

Yay to celebrating life and all the ups and downs and side ways…

“To thine own self be true”

My biggest discovery has to be the power of my thoughts and beliefs. I had no idea that my old negative stories and mindset was creating more of the same. As much as I wanted to feel happier, healthier and wealthier I was unaware that to create that I had to teach my body to experience those feelings and desires as if it was already true.

I had to break the cycle and to do that I have to act as if my dreams had already come true!


You brain doesn’t not know the difference between your imagination and reality.

In research by Pascual-Leone, A. (1995 article) “Modulation of muscle responses evoked by transcranial magnetic stimulation during the acquisition of new fine motor skills.” Journal of Neurophysiology, vol 74(3) 1037–1045, people who mentally rehearsed piano exercises two hours a day for five days had almost the same brain changes as people who practiced on a real piano.

Today I know I can be happier if I choose to be. I can take some quiet time and rehearse mentally (think) and physically (feel/emotions) how I want to ‘be’ in the world.

You and I have been conditioned into believing that we need a reason for joy, a motivation to feel gratitude, grounds to be in a state of love. That’s relying on external reality to make us feel different internally…The new model of reality challenges us…to change something within us — in mind and body, in our thoughts and feelings — before we can experience the physical evidence with our senses. Can you give thanks and feel the elevated emotions associated with a desired event before it occurs? Can you imagine that reality so completely that you begin to be in that future life now? – Dr Joe Dispenza

I’m currently deepening my learning and practice of this by following Dr Joe Dispenza’s work. He explains more in this blog post https://drjoedispenza.net/blog/mastery-es/when-you-stop-looking-and-start-becoming/


  1. Hi, I read the article in the mail about suzannah Constantine anxiety and the menopause. Her description of her anxiety could have been me but I am in my 60s so can’t say it is menopause. However I wo Derek if hormones are still a factor ,I take a small a small dose or HRT prescribed for cystitis. I intend to follow your advice to see if it helps. Wonder if the menopause continues to impact for some years ?

    • Hi Angela, Thanks for your comment. You have asked a great question. The main menopause sysmptoms tend to happen in the lead up and for a shorter while after your last period. That’s not to say that a women may still experience some symptoms due to hormoal imbalances. For you to get to the root cause I would suggest seeing a professional to help you. Anxiety can be caused by many factor; stress, mindset, nutrtional deficiencies, bloodsugar disregualtion etc.


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