I know, I know….one menopause is enough right?
The last six months have been a massive struggle for me. It felt like my world came crashing down.
Sluggish and lethargic
On some days it was a struggle to get out of bed.
I’d given up…..I quit! Life seemed bleak. I felt so lonely.
I had brief glimpses of feeling better only to feel a day later like I was being sucked into a black hole.
I didn’t want to speak to anyone, see my friends or connect with the others.
But this felt familiar…..I knew these signs……I had felt like this and worse 8 years ago when I was going through an early menopause.
I knew my hormones were talking to me!
I also had other ‘stuff’ going on like my ongoing gut issues. I know my gut is fundamental to my overall wellbeing. I knew what I should be doing and what I would recommend to a client with the same gut stuff.
But I the thought of planning and cooking meals was so overwhelming that I didn’t do it. It almost sounds ridiculous to write. Every decision felt too much. I was full of self-doubt and had lost any connection with myself and my intuition.
I was so exhausted that I couldn’t exercise apart from walk the dog. And exercise always makes me feel better. I felt hopeless and lost.
I was a walking bag of excuses…..I felt like I had failed. My inner dialogue as awful. Those mind monkeys weren’t just chattering they were screaming! I felt like I was losing my mind.
In the midst of all this, my fried brain reminded me that I had stopped using HRT nine months earlier.
I thought that being eight years post menopause at the age of 46 I didn’t need hormonal support. I felt a failure somehow…I was Mrs Menopause, a menopause expert, and nutritional therapist and I should be able to do this naturally. What a load of BS my ego was telling me. I am a human being doing the best I can.
My body was telling me loud and clear it needed help. So after a few more weeks wrestling with making a decision, I decided to see my GP.
I saw a new female GP (Dr. Burns) who was amazing. I felt listened to 🙂 We talked about my options and some new types of HRT to try. When I left the surgery I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.
I have been back on HRT since 12th July 2018 (now 6 weeks) and I’m feeling so much better.
I’m on an estrogen gel and oral progesterone at night ( I also have a secret stash of testosterone which I use occasionally). The GP suggested a Mirena coil but it didn’t feel right for me.
HRT is not a magic wand (but it feels like I’ve been sprinkled with fairy dust ;-)) but I feel it’s giving me hormonal support and a window to be able to look after other areas of my health.
This week I did a home yoga work out which my body thanked me for.✔️
I also planned my meals for the week, made a shopping list and went shopping.✔️
I have told the family they are cooking their own evening meals if they don’t want to eat what I’m eating.✔️
I have restarted my morning routine which always helps set the day off to a good start.✔️
I have moved into my new office (finally my own space to retreat into)✔️
And I have had a fluttering of creativity returning (hence why I writing this post)✔️
It feels good to be back 🙂 The rest of this year is focused on me and my health. I’ll be sharing my journey, the ups, and downs with my community as I know this helps others.
I know how great I can feel when I am in good health and I want that feeling back.
So my sister, don’t you give up! If you are in a hole there is a way out. It may not be HRT but there are other ways to support your body.
I beg you to put yourself at the top of the list. Your health and well-being are so important. Make a small change today that will benefit your wellbeing. Midlife, menopause or wherever you are is a time to take stock and reconnect to yourself on every level.
Health isn’t just about eating healthier and move more (for sure that plays apart). Your soul and spirit also need love and attention. Our emotions, feelings and our mental wellbeing are all part of the same conversation.
If you need help or someone to listen to you (really listening is what I’m good at) then feel free to jump on a free call with me. My invitation is without obligation, it’s not a ‘sales call’. It’s one woman listening to another and giving some advice if it’s asked for. Speaking and connecting with other woman fills my soul and it’s a gift that I love.
Big Love Txx