What is menopause and midlife really about?

Something happens around menopause and mid-life. A shift, a change in perspective, an awakening, a realisation….
Our mind, body, and spirit start to shout.
We’ve ignored this voice for all these years. We’ve been too busy.
Busy with growing family’s and/or careers.  Too busy doing ‘stuff’.
Too busy to listen to that voice, the voice that whispers in the dark “is this it?”
The childlike voice that screams in tantrum ‘it’s not fair, what about me?”
We hit our late 40s and early 50s and we start hitting those bigger birthdays.
As we dance through the decades faster and faster we can see the last curtain call is scarily closer than seems possible.
Our mortality becomes more tangible. We begin to lose friends and family along the way as they transition to another place.
Every loss makes us think “shit! I’m running out of time”. It reminds us of our fragility.
But even the loss of a loved one isn’t enough to take action and to live life more fully. Sure the initial shock makes us listen, question and look briefly at our own existence.
But as time marches on we slip back comfortably into our uncomfortable lives.
It’s not that we have a bad life and sure, we’re grateful for what we have (are we?).
But “what’s next?” our inner self-asks?
 
For me, the blessing of aging, maturing (?) and gaining life experience is that I don’t give so much of a shit (oh I still have doubts and wobbles).
I care less what people think and I’ve come to realise what is important. I’ve learned to sweat less about the small stuff as I gain a new perspective on my life.
 
“what really matters?”
 
At mid-life, in the interval of our show called life we get thrown reminders that life is for
LIVING.
 
All those horrible peri-menopause symptoms we hear about and feel are messages, signs and signals.
In the space between each heart beat we know something isn’t quite right!
 
We are out of balance, adrift, we feel a bit off.
Yes,  HRT and supplements, nutrition, exercise and meditation may help BUT….
There is a deeper yearning. Do you feel it? Hear it? Sense it?
This is YOUR time to shine, to grow, to love but…
FEAR
 
Fear stops us living wholeheartedly.
Fear of change.
Fear of the TRUTH.
 
Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Are you living the best version of your life?
These questions, or rather the answers to these questions can be terrifying!
 
So we use alcohol, Facebook, food, {insert other addictive behaviors} to numb those callings, YOUR inner voice who is desperate to be heard.
 
And when those addictive behaviors cause more pain than joy we try and stop them by going cold turkey. We stop the very thing that we were using to help ‘fix’ us.
If I change the way I eat, stop smoking, stop drinking battle of wine a day THEN I will be happy and feel better?
Hmmmm…maybe…..for a while , if you believe that BS.
We have to tackle the deeper stuff…..
 
The ‘why’s’.
 
Why are we smoking, drinking, eating, Netflixing (numbing) our way through life?
What are we avoiding?
 
Our deeper calling, that bloody voice that keeps telling you ‘I’m not happy, I’m not fulfilled…… I don’t want a 9-5 job I want to be a self-employed gardener’
 
 
Damn!! That voice, that TRUTHFUL voice is terrifying!
 
It’s easier to turn that bitch down. STFU.
But at mid-life, that bitch gets MAD, she doesn’t like being ignored.
So she’ll make you listen……. Hot flushes, insomnia (nothing like being wide awake at 3am and full of fear to make you listen), night sweats, lower libido, anxiety, depression, fatigue…
 
ALL these symptoms are isolating and will STOP you living your life.
 
So maybe you need to start listening, really listen?
I say yes to healthier habits.
What you eat, how you eat.
Moving more (in a way you enjoy).
Finding some quiet time (and turn down the chattering, mind monkeys)
 
But there is more. You KNOW there is more.
Anyone who is over the age of 40 will tell you how it feels like life speeds up.
Time goes faster (where did the last year go? Is it Christmas again already?)
We are busier and busier than ever (doing what?)….so busy that we don’t acknowledge life, or live life.
 
Really live it.
 
How many times a day do you say “I’m too busy”, “I don’t have enough time”, “I wish I had more time”
Bull shit, I say…..we all have the same 24 hours a day.
It’s how we CHOOSE to use them that counts.
And don’t give me those “yes but’s…..”
‘Yes but’ always precedes an excuse.
 
That’s the truth.
 
So what is mid-life and menopause all about?
 
The more I talk and write about it the more I realise there is another story to be written.
YOUR STORY
Mid-life and menopause is the PERFECT time to assess YOU and the LIFE you are living.
 
It’s the perfect time to grab life by your tired ovaries and decide that tomorrow starts today.
TODAY. NOW. Now is all we have.
Don’t wait for tomorrow to really start living life.towar
It is completely in YOUR POWER to feel happy, fulfilled, healthy and confident as you head towards the ‘second act’ of life.
This ain’t no dress rehearsal.
Change can be big or small. You don’t have to walk away from your old life (unless you want to) you can start the momentum by making a small change.
Time passes anyway; whether you choose to sit in depression, wallow in your ailments and sit on your pity pot OR you DECIDE today that you can start to live, really LIVE, your life in a way that is meaningful for you.
 
One thing I have learned along the way is that we get to choose how we want to be every morning when we first wake up. How do you start your day?
 

 
Every day we can start again and if you having a crap day you can start your day again at any time.
 
Live intentionally, laugh more, don’t take yourself so seriously, do more of the stuff that brings you joy or don’t……it’s up to you.
 
The moment you begin living TRUTHFULLY is when you will begin to find harmony and flow.
 
(be warned though….others may not like your truth)
 
This may not be the blog you want to read, especially if you are experiencing menopause symptoms and not living the life you desire. You just want to feel better right?
 
I’ve been in the depths of depression and anxiety.
I’ve felt lost, hopeless and like a worthless bag of shit.
I’ve felt powerless and unable to make even the smallest decisions.
 
The ‘not enough mantra’ is well rehearsed in my mind.
 
Not young enough
Not good enough
Not rich enough
Not thin enough
 
ENOUGH already!
 
But I have never given up (I have surrendered and let go) but I’ve always sought a solution. I’ve always known deep down that there is more to this short time I have on planet earth.
 
Change for me has always come from being open, honest and truthful.
 
My wish and desire are to get under the layers of menopause and mid-life baggage.
 
Yes, I can and want to help women feel better about themselves and live an amazing life.
 
But that doesn’t just come from a few lifestyle changes (don’t get me wrong these really help and are part of the bigger picture)
 
I want to help women wake up and realise their potential, to refocus their life, to fall in LOVE with life again.
 
To love themselves (cliché I know). To shine in the world.
 
BUT I realise not every woman is ready for that. Not yet, not ever…and that’s ok.
 
Our mindset, thoughts and overthinking stand in our way. For a long-lasting change we need to work on what goes on between our ears. Get a little PMA (positive mental attitude) and acceptance around this stage in life.
 
Begin by questioning your beliefs and thoughts. Those familiar scripts that we play automatically.
 
Do you know what you want?
 
We can all list what we don’t want. But what do you WANT, DESIRE and WISH for?
 
Start to ask yourself those questions and watch the magic happen.
 
Big Love
 
T xx
 
If you want more help answering these questions and more click the link below
https://tanithleeschedule.as.me/letschat