September can feel a bit like January but sunnier and warmer.
The kids are back after the summer holidays. Maybe you’ve been away and are back ready to move towards Autumn.
The temptation is to go, go, go.
But I’m going to suggest doing the opposite, how about making sure you get enough rest?
Having the kids at home for 6 weeks is exhausting! I’m past that now but I remember it well. No time for yourself, juggling childcare, entertaining, feeding, arguing and not to mention the mess!
It’s exhausting, especially if you are in the hormonal throws of peri-menopause.
Preserving precious energy levels is vital for good health, hormonal harmony and mental wellbeing.
I’m trying something new this month. My offerings, blogs and menopause musings are going to have a theme.
R.E.S.T.
R – Relaxation Techniques
E – Emotional Well-being
S – Sleep Health
T – Time for Self
Over the next four weeks, I’m going to be sharing these ideas.
I’m going to share some great info but more importantly, we will explore why we find it hard to find the time to rest.
hint: it has to do with the negative script/voice most people have running in their heads.
For the next few weeks I’m talking about and (practising!) rest.
R.E.S.T.
Let’s begin with …
R – Relaxation Techniques
I don’t need to list the wealth of techniques that help relaxation. Relaxation is just a way to switch our nervous system into ‘relaxation mode’ and that can be done in many ways and is different for different people.
The question is why do we find it hard to ‘do’ them?
- If we don’t frame it right, relaxation can feel like another thing on our to-do list which kinda defeats the objective.
- We (part of our brain) make it complicated so we don’t bother.
- We don’t make ourselves a priority.
- We don’t know why we need to do it, especially at menopause (clue: stress hormones create havoc around menopause).
I’ve recently been learning how important our identity is and how that influences our behaviour. What we usually try and do is change our behaviour and wonder why we find change frustratingly short-lived.
Our identity is who we believe we are and we can CREATE and CHANGE our identity(s).
Redefining our identity (who we are being) as we go through menopause is important as we have and are being fed a negative menopause script.
“Women are invisible over 50”
“Older women are not sexy”
“older women offer nothing of value”
Anyway, I’m going off-topic 😆, circling back around to relaxation …..
If you are someone who struggles to find space for your choice of relaxation can you identify what you are telling yourself about it?
Awareness of that may help you understand why you find it hard to practice.
I hope this helps.
When I went through the menopause transition it affected my mental health more than my physical health.
A lot was going on at the time that influenced that impact.
- I was 37 and had unknowingly been in peri-memo for a few years
- I was experiencing intense, ongoing coccyx and back pain.
- I couldn’t teach the high-intensity classes I loved anymore.
- I was in my first year of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction.
- I had a history of mental health ‘stuff’
I thought I was going insane and often contemplated suicide as my only option. I felt so isolated and alone with that premature meno. They were dark, dark days.
That was 14 years ago and thank goodness there is more information available about menopause now! I wish I’d known then what I know now.
The physical changes have happened as I’ve got to the more common menopause age (early 50s) and as I’m older.
This week is week 2 in our R.E.S.T. theme.
R – Relaxation Techniques
E – Emotional Well-being
S – Sleep Health
T – Time for Self
I wish I had spent more time on my emotional well-being back then.
Things like:
♔ Being able to talk honestly and openly about how I was feeling rather than the standard (“I’m fine” response).
♔ Giving myself a break and getting off the go, go, go train
♔ Having someone to help me find ways to support myself.
♔ To talk to people who had been through it and gave me hope
♔ Shown me kindness and compassion
♔ Learn to nourish my body rather than punish myself with strict diets and over-exercising.
I don’t have regrets because going through all that stuff led me to who I am and who I am today.
This week is week 3 in our R.E.S.T. theme.
R – Relaxation Techniques
E – Emotional Well-being
S – Sleep Health
T – Time for Self
Sleep
We all know sleep is important for health and well-being but how many of us make it a priority?
The irony is that when we need it most is usually when we get the worst quality.
Take menopause – menopause, for many women, is a stress on the body and when we have stress sleep is a key way to negate the negative effects.
Then mother nature decides to mess with our hormones so sleep is disrupted with hot flushes, night sweats, rumination and insomnia. I mean WTF?
Did you know that good quality, restorative sleep affects much more than our energy?
It affects our memory, concentration, brain health (risk of dementia), mental health, longevity, appetite, body composition, energy and libido.
Your body is smart and has a system designed to pump out the toxins and it cleans itself overnight while you sleep.
It’s called the glymphatic system. If you like to learn more this video explains it well.
Last week i talked about how sleep affects our whole body – from our memory to our appetite – and today I want to share some ideas on how to improve it.
Many people I work with don’t have enough sleep or their sleep quality is poor.
I encourage my clients to run mini experiments on themselves to see if/how different changes and new habits can affect their health and wellbeing
Are you willing to harness your inner mad scientist and try and improve your sleep which may then help your concentration, memory, energy, unwanted food cravings, appetite and libido?
Apart from menopausal hormones what else affects sleep quantity and quality?
Caffeine – half the caffeine in one cup of coffee/tea/energy drink/coke will still been your system 4-6 hours later. This means many people have caffeine in their body 24 hours a day. Even if you think you are sleeping ok, caffeine may be affecting the quality.
Food – excessive simple and for some complex carbohydrates (sweet and savoury) will send your blood glucose levels rollercoastering which, as well as being exhausting to the body will keep it awake during the night (hello 3am wide awake club).
Blue light from lightbulbs and screens mimics daylight to your brain which at night will switch off melatonin production and make sleep harder or poor quality. Choose to reduce or avoid blue light in the bedroom.
Light bulbs emit blue too. Last winter I swapped the light bulbs in my lounge, bedroom, hall and landing to non-blue light bulbs and it is much more relaxing.
Bedroom temperature is key to a good night’s sleep. A cooler bedroom with some fresh air will help our body temperature be cooler which helps us go to and stay asleep.
Eating late in evening will mean your energy consuming digestion system has to work while you sleep and your resting heart rate will be elevated. This elevation means your body does not get the restorative sleep it needs as well as possibly causing digestive issues.
Relaxation before bed or a nice wind down routine can be really helpful to give your brain the message its time for sleep. Reading a book or meditation can relax the brain.
Breathing exercise before sleep is a very quick and simple way to go to sleep and how to go back to sleep if waking during the night. There are many different breathing styles but I love alternate nostril breathing (Nadi Shodhana) as a way to help sleep and it’s great any time to reduce stress and anxiety.
Exercise is great for us but if you are not sleeping well avoid high intensity workouts late in the evening because for most people it is over stimulating and keeps us awake. Exercise earlier or do less intensity in the evening.
In this episode of Diary of a CEO with neuroscience Dr Tara Swart talks about many interesting things but the part about how sleep and stress hormones affect us is really good.
Did you know that October is menopause awareness month and the 18th is World Menopause Day?
This is always a fuller (note I don’t say busy as I am mindful of my language) month for me as I’m asked to be a guest on podcasts and to run menopause talks for businesses.
On top of that, I feel ready to relaunch my online group package all about balancing our blood sugar levels to optimise brain, energy and sleep.
(I’ll share why I had to drop it last September another time)
Oh, and my venue has been confirmed today and on world menopause day I’m running my next Menopause in Nature event.
Phew!
I need a rest 😉 (Lucky I am off for a looooooong-awaited weekend away with some girl-friends)
This is the final week (4) in our R.E.S.T. theme.
R – Relaxation Techniques
E – Emotional Well-being
S – Sleep Health
T – Time for Self
Why do many of us find it hard to put our needs first?
It’s easy to put other things above ourselves like a career, friends or family.
But at some point, especially if we are feeling the full force of the menopause transition, we need to have a conversation with ourselves.
I’m going to do some straight talking here!
It’s no one else’s job to save or fix you.
No one is stepping in to say:
“you deserve a rest, sit down and I’ll cook dinner”
“I’ll look after XYZ, you go and have a day to yourself”
We have to do that for ourselves because YOU DESERVE IT!
Is always being on the go learned behaviour or a sign of modern living?
Is it possible to live a full life and still be relaxed?
I saw this on FB the other day and it made me think of my role models, especially in mid-life when I’m done with the hustle and grind!
This link should take you to full post
Time for self can be big and small.
It can be as small as taking a few mindful breaths and being present in your body (great tool to use BTW) to taking yourself off and doing something you love.
Do you feel you could do with spending more time for yourself?
What stops you?
Sending you lots of love and a big hug
Tanith xx
